As I promised, we’ve got more from the likes of Lucy Bartholomew, and today she’s penned a very poignant, open and honest piece about some internal struggles that I’m sure both women and indeed, men can relate to at times. I don’t need to say anymore, so simply read and enjoy…
I come across as a confident fit teenager. When I smile, I mean it and when I laugh, I love to laugh out loud and a part of me always loves to talk ‘shit’. Deep down under this image, there is always some self-judgement, some criticism. I suppose this can make me a better person, but on a bad day, in the wrong state of mind it can bring anyone to a dark place that everyone tries to hide. Lately I have been reading loads of blogs and reports on the body image in sport and looking to the future I see an importance to share my feelings because it’s as common as the smiles that flock those images of trail runners on social media.
Deep down under this image, there is always some self-judgement, some criticism. I suppose this can make me a better person, but on a bad day, in the wrong state of mind it can bring anyone to a dark place that everyone tries to hide. Lately I have been reading loads of blogs and reports on the body image in sport and looking to the future I see an importance to share my feelings because it’s as common as the smiles that flock those images of trail runners on social media.
If you go back to when I was 14, you wouldn’t believe the person I am now. I was convinced that skinny was good and through running I got to my lowest, but it was also running that taught me to fly high and be strong, not skinny. I believe it is too common for the teenagers to have these feelings.
I think it’s interesting the way that athletes portray themselves and I am grateful for the direction that is being adopted from athletes promoting health and balance, thus taking us away from the need to walk a cat-walk and more towards the lion-walk that ruled the jungle.
Last year I was called overweight and super unfit. Not by some random who knew nothing about what I have achieved and what I do for fun but by another runner, a role model to me. It was a flash back to the 14-year-old me but instead of self-judgement, it was just pure judgement. It hurt.
Running in the mountains has made me strong, physically and mentally and when I run I am carefree. Recently I was running along Wanaka Lake in New Zealand, it was a reflection that I saw and realised that instead of looking at the mirror on the wall or through the eyes of others, it is the mirrors of nature when I see my true self. There is no number on the scale, there is no size of clothes, and everything is irrelevant. All I see is raw freedom and joy.
I am 19 years old, the age of things changing, life moving and being inspired. The moments that followed this reflection, my passion to show that I’m happy with who I am, with what I eat (see my instagram) and being a role model for strong girls in and out of sport, has blossomed.
This comment may have burnt me on the inside, but it has also created a fire. A fire to show myself and others, that the reflection you see in the place you feel most confident, is where the real decision should be made and a real perspective can be found.
Enjoy life, live it to the full both in nature and away. A balance is important, and with one comes the other, but with a joy comes a smile and we all know that’s the best curve of the body.
Ultra168 is paying our writers for their insights and helping the next generation of Australian trail runners. If you think this article deserves a dollar, then feel free to hit the donate via PayPal button below. You don’t have to use PayPal, you can pay by credit or debit card too via PayPal.
[paypal_donation_button]
